I like getting approval. I suspect we all do. Yet I hate wanting or needing it. I hate all the games that go with approval: the withholding of it – treating it like it is a prize or a weapon. the distortion of information to manipulate approval the overvaluation of approval when we are really…

Read More

Failure is something that many of us if not all of us have been taught to be afraid of. Unfortunately, failure is a big subject and perceptions about failure are not necessarily innocent. Fear of failure causes so many people to hide and makes them afraid to be themselves. What a loss! Why Failure Is…

Read More

We are taught to pursue being right. We are rewarded by families and schools for the “right” answers. Often the ideas we encounter about “right” are presented as absolutes. We can feel their inflexibility and lack of nuance, their lack of consideration for context. What Does Being Right Mean? When we talk about being right…

Read More

Being present is often treated as something to strive for. It is a kind of Holy Grail of spirituality and well being. Being present is where you live when your head is out of the way. Why is it so elusive? How Our Heads Get In The Way It never ceases to amaze me how…

Read More

Self pity and grieving are very different. Self pity is the stuckness of despair. It can be a bitter feeling of longing for something you cannot have but need. Often what we want does not seem like too much to ask, which is why self pity can be so painful. Sometimes it feels like the…

Read More

If you are having the problems you don’t have to have, you are not having the problems that you have to have. It’s a saying I have to remind myself that cluttering up my life with problems that are unnecessary is a great way to not get to the “problems” of growing and creating that…

Read More

There are so many important values that are key to our well-being and how we want to show up in the world. Many wonderful ones like compassion, respect, integrity, health, and authenticity most of us would call no-brainers because they are qualities in us that help make the world a good place to live in. …

Read More

  Identity is an anchor in most of our lives. It is usually derived from a combination of our own experiences, our family and school feedback and our culture. Identities can feel wonderful if we have positive feedback or it can feel like a ball and chain if we do not. The more important question…

Read More

  Have you felt your energy go down when someone enters the room? Are there certain people that you avoid – perhaps even family members – because you feel bad when you are around them? Meet The Energy Vampires! When we think of vampires, Halloween often comes to mind. However, these vampires never go off…

Read More