A Joy Practice Eliminates Withholding


Have you had the experience of someone withholding something from you? There are many kinds of withholding. When people mention it, sexual withholding often comes to mind, but withholding is a much bigger and more important form of abuse than we may realize. Withholding affects us on many levels. It hurts trust in any area…

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Hierarchy: Why Conformity Is Not Cooperation


When we experience rejection, sometimes it is based on something remiss in what we have done, but too often, it occurs because we do not conform to societal norms. However, we rarely get a direct and honest explanation for our rejection. When we are not conforming, many will feel threatened because the security of the…

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Loyalty: A Mixed Blessing


I remember when I was young, feeling very confused about the rejection I experienced from those around me. It did not make sense. What was wrong with playing with the girl next door, or wanting to read or do other activities like scouts, or having a Barbie doll? Yup, no Barbies allowed!  It is natural…

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Trapped: How False Shame Steals Your Joy


Photo by Ashley Anthony on Unsplash Does it seem like some kind of wet blanket hovers over you? Have you ever wondered why the “bad” feelings never seem to go away? Why is it that these negative feelings are so readily available? Why is so much that we are offered cloaked in some kind of…

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Why Is The Good So Threatening?


We live in a world that focuses on the bad and seems to believe that ideas about badness are more real than ideas about goodness. This is a huge mistake and one that affects us in many negative ways. Once we rectify this mistake, we can feel freer and happier. So many people struggle to…

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How To Move Forward In Spite Of Blocks

It’s strange, isn’t it? The hard time we have moving forward? One step forward, another back, yet another sideways? Sometimes it can seem like we are just going around in circles. Blockages Most blockages come from unresolved problems. So how do we become blocked, and what can we do about it so we are free…

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What Strokes Can Teach Us


Let’s look at strokes. We train or condition people with strokes, which is a kind of energetic lobbying from those around us and which engages us at some level. When we are being stroked, we are being pushed in a particular direction or blocked from another. We are also encouraged to fear the consequences if…

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Can You Mute The Courage Penalty?

mute the courage penalty

The courage penalty created by hierarchical human social systems has made change difficult for thousands of years. It is important to note that nature does not have the same social system of preference. Although it has its own harshness, It is a shared system of aliveness, nourishment, and well-being. The human world does not seem…

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The Dance from Anger to Empathy


“My mother is driving me nuts again,” Carol tells me as we hike up to Grant Hill during one of our weekly hikes. Her comment is in response to my inquiry about how her week was going. The edge of her reply regarding her elderly mother gets my attention. Before I can say anything, Carol…

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How Is The Courage Penalty Affecting You?

courage penalty

Have you noticed how much effort goes into suppressing the natural desire of people to live well, to be themselves, and to enjoy life? We are offered a world that generates a constant diet of trauma. We are being herded over and over again into a world that wants to keep us working and slaving…

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