We have been going through a deep change in our social structures for some time. Although the building of new cultural forms has been going on surreptitiously for at least a century, more recently as human beings focused more and more on their social development, these changes have become more overt. Many resist these changes in favor of old ways of living and relating. One of those old ways is a firm division between the sexes and the masculine and feminine energies.
The Separation Of The Sexes
I want to be clear that our purpose here is not to tear down the past. In the past, people structured their social groups according to the realities of their times. Women were responsible for child-rearing since population sizes were small and food/domestic activities aligned with child-rearing. Masculine roles were warrior roles, more focused on hunting. With these divisions also came a division in the social lives of the sexes as relationships were built around their common and shared responsibilities.
It is fair to say that the protection that women and children needed meant that the focus of women was more internal and localized to the village, whereas men roamed more in search of game and hunting targets. Their upper body strength was of exceptional value in the harsh life of early human civilization and they, therefore, developed considerable sway over the rules of the group.
The Creation Of A Divided Masculine And Feminine
Over time, women, for the most part, were expected to cater to men since the warrior role was valued the most, and women were expected to support the well-being of the warriors. (There were societies that operated differently.)
The divisions meant that each of the sexes developed certain skills and abilities. The sexes had their functional and emotional domains and they were expected to strictly inhabit their sex role. Because of the nature of early human life, they may have spent a lot of time apart, so that their relationships may have been as much functional as lovingly intimate.
The sexes have developed along separate paths for much of human history. Although we have received many benefits from these focused developmental courses, it has also become increasingly apparent that each of the sexes has built-in limitations that come from disconnection with their opposite energy.
The Limitations Of The Separate Masculine And Feminine
The warrior role is largely a tactical and strategic function serving the protection needs of its group. Its function is to fight well and succeed in battle but not necessarily to make the decision to go to war. It needs a high degree of strength and level-headedness so that emotions do not rule under dangerous circumstances. As a result, the masculine has developed more tactical perceptual skills.
The feminine role has been one of caretaking. It is a role highly attuned to emotions and the shifting needs of others. The feminine skills include relationship tending and building interpersonal bridges which allow harmony to flourish within a group. Listening is an important skill for supporting harmonious relationships. Feminine perceptual skills as a result are more nuanced, more attuned to emotions and the information they convey.
Each of the sexes has functional strengths. Their limitations have been evident also. The masculine has been conditioned to see vulnerability as weakness and the feminine has been restricted and controlled and therefore many women have become inhibited about taking action. Sex role conditioning has complementary skills but we also need the full range of perceptual and functional skills to make our native abilities whole.
A Conversation between The Masculine And Feminine
As our world has become more complex, and as more and more women are taking active roles out in the world, it has become apparent that the separation of the sexes is no longer useful. Many men and women are working on themselves, men to become more vulnerable and women to develop their ability to take action.
In order to fully benefit from the gifts of each sex, we need them to be in conversation with each other. The feminine has an easier ability to listen holistically for the flow and process of life. The masculine has developed skills in getting things done that bring with it an understanding of limits, and even boundaries from personal experience.
Many people are seeking to develop their opposite sex energies to become more mature and more skilled in work and relationships. Having an inner conversation between these energies also enables you to have an outer conversation with the opposite sex so that you have an easier time finding common ground. When we have been conditioned to a narrow idea of what our domain is, it is hard to establish common ground with someone else. As more and more people become skilled in the energies of their inner “other”, the sexes can begin to relate from a more common understanding and build better friendships and partnerships.
One of the ways we can develop the new strengths we need is to do the outer work of skill-building and also the inner world of releasing incorrect beliefs about ourselves and each other. The inner work of healing through quantum healing, meditation, and somatic therapies can free our energy for the flourishing of our rich inner gifts.
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