Do you avoid relationships because of emotional games? Do people think your sensitivity is just an emotional game?
If that is the case you are not alone.
Emotions And Social Games Are Not The Same
Many people are afraid of their emotions. They are afraid of how they will be treated because of them.
Emotions are feelings from your direct experience of life. That is why you are often hear that there are no right and wrong feelings. There aren’t.
Emotional games are just the opposite – they do not come from your direct experience. Emotional games come from a preconceived idea about life and reality. People often think that reality is painful, so to avoid it they create emotional games to fend off their ideas about who they are and what awful things might happen to them. Emotional games are also the basis of all forms of identity. The reason spiritual masters challenge our identities because they are a game – an attempt to turn something fluid into something fixed. It does not work.
How Emotional Games Harm The Sensitive
Sensitive people are aware of the shifting nature of everything around them. They have to be because their nervous systems pick up on all stimulus, which, of course, is constantly shifting and changing. When you are sensitive, you do not have the luxury of denial about the changing nature of reality.
Emotional games present sensitive people with several problems:
- their awareness is often not welcomed by people around them who seek to maintain a defined view of life or maintain a fixed set of circumstances.
- they feel the disconnect with reality and often do not know how to relate to people who operate from what is essentially an ideological view of life.
- sensitive people with their more fluid connection with life, often do not have strong fixed identities which may make them seem weak to others when if fact they are very strong to be so in touch with nature.
- highly sensitive people often feel left holding the emotional bag because they have to process not only their emotions but also the unaddressed emotions that ideological living leaves on the table.
- emotional games clog relationships making it more difficult to relate and solve problems, which often turns relationships into a burden for highly sensitive people.
- emotional games can consume so much of the relationship space that sensitive people can find intimacy more of a war zone than a rewarding experience and so often prefer to be alone.
- the greater the emotional games the more likely a sensitive person is to find the relationship difficult and unrewarding.
Minimize Emotional Games
Highly sensitive people need to minimize the emotional games in their lives because:
- they are draining and counterproductive.
- they interfere with and harm their natural generosity and creativity.
- they increase the recovery time sensitive people need from other people.
- they often represent an abdication of involvement in the serious work and issues of life and therefore are disappointing to a sensitive person.
As an sensitive person, you are in a unique position to notice when the energy of another person is false or fixed. Your sensitive nervous system can be used to help you set stronger boundaries with those whose energy suggests that they will demand a relationship based on emotional games.
It is worth considering using your nervous system to create a litmus test or alert when energy around you is false. It will enable you to draw back from those situations and individuals who can drain or harm you.
So many sensitive people use their nervous systems to help others. How nice that we can use it to help ourselves as well!