Is Everything Okay?

In an article published in November in The New York Times, Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, and an American member of the British royal family asked the question: Are you okay?” I was recently asked a similar question, “Is Everything Okay?” And my answer, probably like millions of Americans, was, no everything is not okay

Yet, the truth is, despite the worse pandemic in modern history, my daily life is fine. I still have a passion for my work, my family and the people I care about. I am living a fairly balanced, holistic lifestyle which is well suited to my highly sensitive nature. I have enough time. Time to process, time to be alone and in nature, spiritual time, exercise and even animal time. The one thing missing is in-person visits with close friends and extended family members, but am also happy to wear a mask, practice social distancing and wash my hands frequently. I am grateful that the citizens where I live, in Northern Colorado, for the most part, embrace these health guidelines as well.

No, All Is Not Okay

Pondering this more deeply as we HSPs do, I realize the part of me that is not okay is my priestly advisor self. Elaine Aron describes the priestly advisor role as one in which the HSP “teaches, counsels, advises, heals, keeps the history in words or art forms, envisions the future, thinks about the meaning of life and death, leads rituals, studies the subtleties of nature or law and puts the brakes on the more impulsive warrior kings. (The Highly Sensitive Person’s Workbook (1999.)

Normally, I am a fairly optimistic person, always hopeful, always seeing the glass as half full. But this year is drastically different. Like millions of others, I have experienced more feelings of anxiety, despair, disappointment, anger, and sadly, disconnection from my fellow Americans than ever before.

A Year To Dig Deep

I have lost some of my hope and faith in what I thought was the goodness of the American people. Except for perhaps, the Civil War, and/or the Civil Rights movement, I do not remember so much vitriol and divisiveness pitting us against each other. Where have our common values of compassion and empathy gone? We are exhausted from conflicting opinions about what is true and not true, what science tells us and what some of our leaders or unknown YouTubers tell us.

And it seems, no one wants to talk about grief. Instead, we watch another Netflix series, drink another glass of wine. What if, instead, we all decided to call just one friend and ask: “Are you okay?” Listening to the stories of grief, loss, confusion, sadness, or angst could be the beginning of lightening the burden so many are feeling right now.

I have had to dig deep this year to find my hope, not to mention my joy. I’ve found it in a daily spiritual practice, mindfulness, and gratitude for the constants in my life: the way the sun shines in my living room each morning as I drink my coffee; the beautiful sunrises and sunsets here in Colorado, my grandchildren and the many connections via Zoom.

We Are The Hope

With hopeful eyes, I can see many, including the HSP priestly advisors, stepping forward to be heard in a new way. I can see there are many people working to be part of the solution. I am grateful for the millions of health care and essential workers who put their lives on the line every day. I find a bit of hope when I see bumper stickers that say: “God bless the whole world.” I find a bit of hope when I see alternative fuel vehicles on the highway and when I see wind farms in Wyoming. I definitely feel hopeful when I see many HSPs connecting with one another from around the world, and I see many lives changed by support, education and wisdom shared by empowered priestly advisors.

So, yes, sometimes we must work a little harder to clear our eyes and see the signs of hopefulness. What might you be hopeful for in the New Year, 2021? What priestly advisor visions are you ready to make a reality?

As Meghan Markle so poignantly shared: “…when people ask how any of us are doing, and when they really listen to the answer, with an open heart and mind, the load of grief often becomes light for all of us.” Maybe this is the first step toward healing.

Image: Kouji Tsuru - Unsplash

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About Jacquelyn Strickland

Jacquelyn has been a Licensed Professional Counselor since 1993, having worked exclusively with highly sensitive people since 2000. She is one of the very first pioneers, with Elaine Aron, of what is now an international movement connecting HSPs around the world. Jacquelyn & Elaine co-founded the HSP Gathering RetreatsSince 2001 , and there have been 36 and counting, national and international retreats. We will be celebrating the 37th retreat as soon as it is safe to gather, and possibly we will gather virtually as well. Jacquelyn’s background in Social Work, Women’s Studies, cultural diversity and a graduate degree in Counseling have empowered and informed her work since first finding out about our HSP trait in May of 1996. Her psychotherapy practice included therapeutic orientations, coaching principles, mixed with a client’s spiritual foundation. She has been trained in hypnotherapy and loved her work as an EMDR, Level II practitioner. She has been certified to utilize Myers Briggs Personality Assessment since 1991, and is also well versed in the use of the Enneagram, using both of these modalities, when helpful, in her work. She now connects with highly sensitive people around the world as an HSP mentor, coach, educator and retreat & workshop leader, including the HSP Gathering Retreats, and her Nature as Teacher and Healer retreats held in beautiful Colorado where she lives. She is an expert on Sensory Processing Sensitivity and a member of ICHS – International Consultants High Sensitivity, a group of international professionals trained by Elaine Aron in 2018. Jacquelyn has been married to a non-HSP introvert since 1978 and is the mother of two grown sons, one an HSP, and one simply very kind. She is the grandmother of three delightful grandchildren, ages 3, 4 and 6. One granddaughter is almost certainly a sensitive extrovert like her grandmother. Connect with Jacquelyn at her website or on her Facebook page. Sign up for her newsletter, HSP Highlights & Insights - website

2 Comments

  1. Marilyn on January 21, 2021 at 12:48 pm

    Thank you for this article. I have been feeling down about all the negativity between people. A couple of days ago, I was pumping gas at the station my son works at. My son asked if I would buy him a coffee. I told him I would after filling my gas tank. Before I finished filling my tank, my son walked out to my car and said that a customer had just bought him and his coworker drinks. It made my day to know that someone they don’t know cared enough to buy them drinks. That act of kindness benefited more than those receiving coffee. I was reminded there is still respect, kindness and appreciation in this world.