The next Emerging Sensitive Program is coming in 2020!

The Loneliness Problem

 

If we took a survey of HSPs, how many would say they are lonely?  Loneliness is not the same as being alone. Being alone and enjoying it come from our full engagement with life.  Loneliness is something else.

Loneliness often feels like we have been graded and found wanting.  It feels like a suffocating prison to which we do not hold the key. When we experience loneliness, we often experience it as a form of rejection. Sometimes it feels like we are in a different place from everyone else, and so we feel the loneliness of our difference. Our inability to find or share common ground can give rise to feelings of loneliness.

Being a highly sensitive person inevitably invites lonely feelings just because of who we are.  Because we perceive and experience differently, we are often at a disadvantage in our relationships. On an interpersonal basis sharing differences in perception and experience is not so difficult.  The greater difficulty comes from not really sharing the language of the competitive culture; our basis for interpersonal exchange is not there. The sensitivities and values difference that come from holistic perceptions and living from energetic experience are hard to integrate into an us vs. them culture.

Highly sensitive people have much to give in a world that often does not want what we have to offer. Our hearts are so big but they are often big by themselves. It can feel like you are out on a limb in a world that wants to chop it down at any moment. Very risky! Yet you cannot do otherwise because you would then be betraying yourself.  So you, therefore, carry the torch even if no one can see it, even when you feel foolish, hoping that at some point the world will stop long enough to see that there is no them and that then you will not be lonely anymore.

About Maria Hill

Maria Hill is the founder of Sensitive Evolution and Sensitive Evolution Radio. She is the author of The Emerging Sensitive: A Guide For Finding Your Place In The World as well as numerous courses for sensitives including The Emerging Sensitive Course using frameworks to help sensitive people master their sensitivity and turn it into the asset it can be. They can be found here. She is a long time meditator, reiki master, a student of alternative health and Ayurveda. Maria is also an abstract painter whose portfolio can be found at Infinite Shape and also very interested in animal and human rights and the environment.

39 Comments

  1. Phil on February 8, 2019 at 10:52 am

    I am 50 this year and have no friends or partner I was married for 17 years before getting divorced after my wife cheated and left. I recently thought I’d found the love of my life only to find I was being gaslighted. Being a highly sensitive person this destroyed me. I just want friends and a partner to share my life. It seems such a small thing but so unachievable for me. People tell me I look great for my age and a really nice person so I just don’t get it. I hate that I’m like an emotional sponge and the wrong people seem to be drawn to me.



    • Maria Hill on February 8, 2019 at 11:06 am

      Hi Phil,

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your story. I think that many sensitive people suffer from a blind spot about manipulative people. There are many people who are not really partnership oriented. They are invested in social competition and the acquisitive culture we are in. Our culture is highly addictive because of the sensationalistic aspect of it – the constant drama and many people locate their lives within it. I certainly have struggled with the disappointment of manipulative people in my life also.

      I think there is a path forward for you and have a couple of suggestions:

      • take some time to consider the values you need to see in a friend or partner.
      • consider relationships as a process and that there are certain things you need from people in your life in order for them to be there.

      I think when you develop a list of your own requirements then you may be able to have more balance in your relationships and it may help you feel more in control of what is happening in your social life. I hope this helps.

      All the best,
      Maria