Sensitive people connect with the energy around them because their nervous systems are designed to operate in a highly engaged way with everything in their environments. This is not a bad thing, in fact, the sensitive person’s awareness can be exceptionally valuable. In order for that to happen, however, sensitive people need a specific type of information in order to be effective in life. I call it the missing link.
Living In The Land Of ‘Maybe’
If only all of this energy came with an instruction manual on what to do with it! We do not get that which means we have to figure out what we are noticing and then what to do with it. You could say it is a kind of energetic overhead or a second job.
The challenge is a serious one because without understanding the contexts for what we are seeing and experiencing, we lack sufficient ground to make positive and constructive decisions. The result can be that we make decisions in a reactive way that does harm and hurts our relationships. I believe that there is a natural spirit of friendship in sensitive people that is lovely. However, our awareness without context is just unfiltered data and although it may hold truth, wisdom is required to make good use of it. When we are able to channel the wisdom in our awareness we can bring the spirit of friendship to bear in the world and feel good about our contribution. Contexts help us more easily access our wisdom so we can minimize unnecessary mistakes.
Many sensitive people seek a big-picture perspective as a way of handling all of their energetic overwhelm and some, if not most, also use spirituality in order to find positive choices to make in interacting with others. The results, however, are hit or miss because there is no one size fits all strategy for handling all the information we pick up. The world is full of different visions, different ideas about the big picture, and many different ideas about spirituality. What is constructive in one situation may not be in another.
There can be consequences for us when we make reactive choices, especially if we think we know what is needed when we do not have a complete picture of what is going on. When too many misses are the result of our decisions, our confidence can decline. Many sensitive people tell me that they hold back especially when under pressure to make a quick decision. Although trying to be as mindful a possible is a good idea, we cannot hold back too long. That only means that the opportunity for influence will pass and we will feel bad that we could not respond – again.
Over time, our confidence will likely diminish as we live more and more in the land of ‘maybe’. Maybe if I do this, or maybe if I try that is great brainstorming but not necessarily great strategy. We may feel that we are protecting ourselves in one way but we are not in another. The challenge is compounded by the intensity and speed of modern culture, neither of which are conducive for effective decision making in sensitive people.
So there is a reality challenge and a sensitivity challenge that we need to address. The reality challenge comes the conditions of modern culture which we can manage with effective pacing, self-care, and wise work choices. The sensitivity challenge is developing the discernment we need to be effective in our choices and decisions which will help us live with greater happiness and satisfaction. The solution and missing link for sensitive people is frameworks which we will discuss next.
The Missing Link: Frameworks
Just as non-sensitive people have their missing link: the energy that sensitive people connect with, so sensitive people have their missing link: the cultural systems that non-sensitive people feel at home in. Sensitive people feel at home in nature and increasingly non-sensitive people seems to feel at home primarily in culture.
However, if you look at the chart at the top of the page, there are three elements: energy, middle earth, and big picture.
- Energy is the raw alive data that our nervous systems pick up on. So you could say it is the ground of life, after all, everything is energy. We need to recognize and connect with it if we want to have good information about what is going on around us.
- Big picture is perspective. We all need to have more than a short-sighted perspective to make good decisions. A big-picture perspective acknowledges the past, present, and future and that there is always more going on than our concerns. It helps us find our graciousness in relating to others and solving problems.
- Middle earth is the place where sensitive people often struggle but one where we need to find a way to engage, since it is where we manifest. It does not feel good if we are unable to manifest in the world.
Middle earth holds the contexts for what is happening around us. This is the plot of the story without which we cannot define a constructive role for ourselves. It is the cultural piece or pieces because there are many different cultures. When we are adept at the cultural piece we can have some idea about how our words and actions will land, a more accurate understanding of risks and when to risk and when not to.
Understanding the frameworks of culture helps us come to terms with situations that did not work out because of differences we did not understand. Frameworks can help us stop ruminating because they provide the ‘why’ for what has happened in our lives and without that we will most likely flounder. Frameworks also make our processing and decisions easier. They provide us with a reality check independent of other people so that we can find our sea legs in navigating the world.
It is worth taking the time to understand the world so that you have the inner comfort of knowing that you can stand on your own two feet and make life work for you. You deserve the inner peace of knowing that you are making decisions from a wise place. You deserve the resulting good feelings about yourself and the benefit of positive relationships with others.
There is a hidden benefit to learning cultural frameworks. Once you understand them you discover where the inspiration is. You know where the magic is and how to start bringing it in your life. It is easier to decide where to put your energy and what to pass on. You understand where the world is at and you know how to connect your gifts with the world. It is much easier to live in a place of friendship with yourself and the world.
Frameworks help. Consider giving them a try. This link will get you started