I like a real conversation.

I do not like a faux conversation.

I do not like pretend conversations.

I do not like manipulative conversations.

It can be quiet around me.

What Is A Real Conversation, Anyway?

It probably sounds silly and perhaps a little whiney – but what is a real conversation? It may be easier to talk about what it is not.

I have no trouble with people being pleasant with each other except when it becomes so rigid that real issues and problems cannot be discussed. A real conversation talks about what is and needs to be.

When I see conversations that are stiffly pleasant, I often think people are talking about what they want life to be like rather than what is. I don’t want conversations that feel like some sort of weird dream. I prefer a conversation that feels robust and timely. It should be present.

A real conversation is present. It doesn’t need to manipulate. I have enough going on, I don’t really have the time. This kind of conversation does not demand a big acting job on the part of others. There is nothing to gain or lose. There is just the getting on with it.

Real Conversation Is Slow

Real conversation is slow. It starts but does not necessarily end at the same time. I like the kind of conversations that feel like a kind of weaving of information, thoughts, and feelings. The results are not the primary concern, the exchange is.

It makes the conversation less about an agenda or result and more about groundedness.

Conversation can be a way to ground. It does not have winners or losers. It doesn’t have rules or authority. What is is the authority.

A Real Conversation Is Lighter

A real conversation is lighter because it doesn’t need rules, roles, poses, and agendas.

It is grounded in the present and stays there. There is no place to go. Just a place to be.

It’s also a place here anyone can be. There is no exclusion because we are all here in this present.

So a real conversation can make life easier and more enjoyable.

I also think it makes life more companionable since there is no competition.

A real conversation is a place for friends.

About Maria Hill

Maria Hill is the founder of Sensitive Evolution. She is the author of The Emerging Sensitive: A Guide For Finding Your Place In The World. In addition, she has created the immersive Emerging Sensitive Program of "sensory processing yoga" using frameworks to help sensitive people master their sensitivity and turn it into the asset it can be. She also offers the Emerging Sensitive Movie Club focused on movies and discussions about living in the world as a sensitive person and navigating the challenging cultural shifts of our times. She is a longtime meditator, reiki master, student of alternative health and Ayurveda. Maria is also an abstract painter whose portfolio can be found at Infinite Shape and also very interested in animal and human rights and the environment.


  1. Introvert girl on May 25, 2013 at 10:08 pm

    Thanks for providing your perspective on this interesting topic. I often carry so many expectations when I enter a conversation. It’s best to just accept the limitations of other people, as I’ve learnt the heard way. So many times I’ve entered a conversation bored out of my brain, frustrated and impatient, but once you accept that not everyone is the same as you, or likes talking about the same things as you, it’s easy just to flow.

    • Maria on May 26, 2013 at 9:36 am

      As an HSP, I think you do have to accept how different our interests are compared to non-HSPs. It sounds like you have done a great job of makig your peace with differences.

      Good for you!


  2. Lu on November 28, 2014 at 3:31 pm

    Good read. I love having real,meaningful conversations with the right people too,it’s just unfortunate they are rather difficult to come by sometimes.

  3. Heidi on July 18, 2018 at 9:16 am

    Thank you.
    I crave a good conversation sometimes.
    One that has no winner or loser!
    One where a point is made without making it an attack.
    And, slow. My brain does not process quickly.
    Any blistering retorts I offer will be tomorrow as I rehash what was said.
    Growing up, my parents were politically active.
    There were many discussions- heated discussions.
    I can’t remember any of them being a personal attack.