I like getting approval. I suspect we all do. Yet I hate wanting or needing it. I hate all the games that go with approval: the withholding of it – treating it like it is a prize or a weapon. the distortion of information to manipulate approval the overvaluation of approval when we are really…

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It’s two days before Halloween as my wife and I head to our favorite Italian restaurant in the city. Entering the foyer of the restaurant, I notice a message written on the chalkboard listing the night’s specials. In addition to mussels with plenty of garlic and Venetian zuppa de peoci soup, a psychic is also…

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Haven’t we all met the person who never gets over it?  The person with a grudge for everyone else to pay their whole life?  The person who is always pulling teeth to get their way? For thousands of years, human beings have been invested in a vengeful and controlling way of life, with seriously painful…

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I like harmony. I suspect that many HSPs do. Harmony to me is important because at its best it tells us that we are making effective choices. At its worst, we are keeping a destructive peace. Which is operating in your life? Why Is Harmony So Elusive? I have often wondered why harmony is so…

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Highly sensitive people can be independent and able to be alone. However, that does not mean that we necessarily are happy and comfortable with it. Recently I have been asking myself why being alone is considered, “bad” or a sign of a problem. Do I need to be herded into a group, an identity, or…

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Fuzzy boundaries? Boundaries are one of the biggest challenges facing highly sensitive people. They can be a source of aggravation and unhappiness. There are many reason why boundary issues are a problem for us, some having to do with us and others having to do with the world. It would help if we could get…

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I like a real conversation. I do not like a faux conversation. I do not like pretend conversations. I do not like manipulative conversations. It can be quiet around me. What Is A Real Conversation, Anyway? It probably sounds silly and perhaps a little whiney – but what is a real conversation? It may be…

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Do you have difficulty handling differences? All of us do to a degree. For highly sensitive people, however, differences can seem dangerous because we have usually experienced so much invalidation that we can become afraid of differences. I know I have. So what can we do? Why Differences Become A Problem Differences become a problem…

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Learning to stop absorbing other people’s energies could be the biggest challenge facing highly sensitive people and empaths. We easily feel what other people feel, whether it is a family member, the grocery store clerk, a co-worker, or a stranger. Going through our day to day life requires a certain awareness in order to distinguish…

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canary in the coal mine

In his book Thrive!, which discusses the gifts and challenges of highly sensitive people, Dr. Tracy M. Cooper talks about his research on the trait of sensory processing sensitivity. What interested me most were the stories and real-life experiences of fellow HSPs. They helped to draw a picture of how HSPs as a population might…

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