Hurry up! Hurry up!
Do you ever feel that many people around you are too quick and too impatient?
I know that I do.
It’s a weird problem, because as slow as HSPs may seem to non-HSPs, non-HSPs seem superficial to HSPs.
It can be a challenge to handle it.
Time Issues: A Conflict For HSPs
Non-HSPs tend to operate at a faster speed than HSPs.
Non-HSPs are usually extroverted and have a more competitive orientation. If you are going to be a successful competitor, you need to be fast.
HSPs have a holistic orientation. They take in everything and sort out the information they receive before making decisions and taking action. HSPs tend to have an organic approach to life which creates different relating and problem-solving approaches.
Put an HSP and non-HSP in the room and it will be difficult for them to work together unless they create a way to do so. Their interests, values and working approaches will be very different.
How HSP Biology Creates Time Issues
Highly sensitive people are born with nervous systems that soak up all sensory information around them. HSPs are like sensory sponges.
Because highly sensitive people are also holistic they need to process the information they take in before choosing how to direct their energy. Having a holistic orientation complicates things because
- you have to consider all of the factors that are relevant to any task at hand
- you do not have the excuse that you are not aware when you take in so much information
- you take in information that includes factors from the past, present, and future.
The reality is that highly sensitive people have a complex mental processing problem on their hands, that is not shared by non-HSPs. As valuable as HSPs are, non-HSPs may not appreciate the awareness that sensitive people bring to the table and become impatient with us.
Getting A Handle On Time Issues
The first thing that highly sensitive people need to do is accept that they will not change non-HSPs nor do we have to take care of their impatience.
At the same time, you cannot simply conform to a competitive world which often does not suit your values. Compromises need to be made, however, it is better if they are not with your values.
It may sound like a simple time management problem but it is really more important that that. Competition is a serious factor in social respect. People who are gentle are often not well regarded. Therefore, finding a way to come into your own value and take care of your own needs in a world that may not appreciate your strengths is a challenge.
Start by identifying where in your life you are having the greatest difficulty. To get a handle on time issues, start with an assessment:
- family life: am I the only HSP or are there others in the family? Am I supported in being different and having different needs and going at a slower pace?
- work life: am I in a competitive or collaborative environment? Do I feel good about going to work or do I dread each day?
- friends and social life: do I experience friendship and acceptance from the people around me or do I often find myself bullied and put-down and expected to keep up with everyone else?
- health: how is my health? how much stress can I withstand before I become debilitated or ill?
- are there places that offer you comfort and joy? Can you expand them?
- are there places where the interpersonal situation is extremely unpleasant for you? Can you reduce it?
- can you work for yourself in order to create a more satisfactory life for yourself?
Steps For Planning
- conduct an assessment
- identify the areas you want to change
- pick a place to start
- identify what you need to make the change: support, information, tools etc.
- pick some ideas for making changes and pick a strategy that suits you
- make changes and notice the results
- journal about your progress. It is a good way to think things through as well as release frustration safely.